i went to supper with Amy and her sis, Leah, at Margarita Rocks tonight. Somehow we got on the topic of feminists and how weird they are (for example, not wanting 1/2 price entrees for ladies' night). Anyhow, it made me think of the time when Adrian and I were hiking at Badlands and for some reason, at one part of the hike you had to jump across to reach the other side. Well, Adrian wanted to help me across, and I remember feeling kind of huffy and saying something like, "hmph, i can do it myself, i don't need help." and then of course, i did not make my jump and fell down. but instead of making fun of me and laughing at me, he was so sweet to me and helped me up. :) i think we had been dating for a little over 2 months at that point. but i think that was one moment where i thought, this is the guy i want to be with. he visits me in one week! that's the only thing keeping me from dropping dead before Friday, when I have to give my horrendous presentation in front of scary people that enjoy asking questions just so the speaker will have questions to answer. :(

where are the cool, crisp autumn days? According to my calendar, autumn officially began on the the 22nd. However, it is still hot and muggy as can be.

also, today was not a good day for me. My guitar "teacher" bailed on me, which I found most disappointing. I was so looking forward to the day when I could procrastinate by picking up the guitar and practicing. also, in preparing for a horrible presentation I have to make on Friday, I realized that I really should try and get out of school soon. School leaves me feeling most inadequate, extremely worried, and stressed. There is no joy in school and when that is what I am doing for the majority of my days, I am left feeling quite dissatisfied with my days and then with my life. And then I feel silly and ridiculous...and I'll stop this here.

effects of Hurricane Rita

So I try to go to church this morning, but alas, they were not having service! The sky was blue, not a cloud in the sky, but somehow Hurricane Rita caused Living Hope to cancel their service. Sooo, I mosy over to Grace, where they are having service, but there were so many people there that there wasn't room for us all. In the end, I just went home and watched Chris Osbourne on TV.

The second effect of Rita is that it has caused me to pretty much eat a whole package of Oreos in a space of 4 days. :( This is why I usually don't buy oreos, but the panic of Rita caused me to give in....

so, that's pretty much all Rita did to my world...it made me eat a lot of junk and gave me some Sunday morning church inconvenience....not exactly the excitement that I was ready for.

new post, new post!

A new post!

I have been going to a women's Bible study about the 5 aspects of woman. I am really enjoying it so far. So last week, we had this question posed to us: if you are married, is it your responsibility to have children? (this is not including those people who cannot physically have children. In that case, the question would be more like: do you need to adopt?)

whew! what a question! I never really thought about it before. There is one girl in the study who is very intelligent (well, they are all really intelligent). But she has a way of looking at things that is so - humm, I'm trying to think of the right words to explain. I don't want to say perfect. But she just seems to already have a very good knowledge about what a woman is and what a woman should be like. She is engaged right now, and you can tell that she will be the perfect wife and mother. Anyhow, she was saying that yes, especially as a Christian couple you need to raise children and that if you choose not to, those reasons are entirely for selfish reasons.

Then this question was asked: okay, what all is marriage for, then, if you don't have children? We didn't really explore this too much b/c it was off topic and we will get back to this much later in the study. But still, I was a little floored. And then I thought, well I don't really want to have children right this moment and probably not even in a year from now. But I still really want to be married right this minute....and I'm not sure what my point is, maybe I wonder why I want to be married yesterday even though I don't want children tomorrow. well, hee hee, I think I know why I really want to be married, and it seems to be such a silly reason, but I can't help it.

:( oh well, I guess my main domain right now is school, and I need to be tending to it a little better instead of wanting other domains...I think one of my main problems is that I often think about the future and what I want to be doing then instead of being satisified with what I have now and with what I'm doing now. And that's not very good. I'm not entirely sure how to change that though...

I feel that I haven't written in my blogger for so long that I am not sure where to begin...this week has been hectic, I feel.

So this is what I have been thinking...they want grad students to be TAs so that in case we are interested in being professors, we can learn how to juggle research and teaching at once. However, I was thinking about this and I started realizing that some of the best college teachers I had were not in fact professors that did research. Instead, they were either lecturers or else did not seem to do research anymore. And the professors I had that were very active in research were not good teachers. However, there are exceptions to this observation. For example, there is a professor in my department that is an excellent teacher and a very active researcher that is constantly publishing...BUT he is not married and it truly seems to me that his job is his entire life...

so, I'm not sure what my conclusion is, probably that I don't really desire to be a professor, because I would just hate to be a bad teacher. But it is so time consuming to be a good teacher that there really isn't that much time to be a fabulous researcher concurrently - unless you are one of those super people who have no need for rest and relaxation. I am clearly not one of those people.

that is all for now...